People are like panes. When the sun shines they sparkle and glitter, but when it is dark, their true beauty opens only because of the light coming from the inside.
Kubler-Ross E.
There can’t be two more different people then the same man, when he is claiming to a place and when he has occupied it.
Galifaks D.
All people are different! Someone can easily present himself from the bright side, and another doesn’t even know how to do it…
Here comes a guy. He is not remarkable or handsome, but if he comes closer, speaks to you, you’ll notice that the conversation is smooth and pleasant; you don’t have to puzzle over the topic for a chat. And another one – handsome, well-built, but you’ll see only embarrassed smile and horror in his eyes. The silence is embarrassing for him, and he wants to say something, but can’t. He doesn’t know how to present himself. He is embarrassed and his jokes are out of place. It may be excitement. May be someone or something has impressed him, or he is afraid that he won’t justify somebody’s hopes. Such fears are normal. Excitement in unusual situation or with new people is an adequate behavior. A wish to please somebody can help you to perform golden deeds. It’s good.
A lot of people, who have already built stable relations, sometimes recall such periods with a kind smile, when the blood was full of adrenalin and the heart was going to jump out.
But it happens that the fear of communication makes a person secluded, impedes you to live a normal life, to open, to trust, to become acquainted with new people and to build relationships. And then, whoever you are, you can’t present yourself. You should learn to overpass this fear, working at self-improvement and removing the reasons.
So far as a person wins his fear, so far he is a person.
Kartell T.
The most common fears are: the fear of refuse, the fear of being rejected, the fear of being “rara avis”, the fear of disappointment…
At first, you should understand what prevents you from doing what you want, from feeling comfortable in this world. And begin to act. Gradually you should open, presenting yourself to the people as you are, without fear that you’ll be blamed or laughed at.
You have to understand, that if you don’t do anything, avoid talking to people, you won’t achieve anything. The best way to get rid for fear is to glance in its eyes. Learn to present yourself. It is necessary to have your personal experience, sometimes you can make some mistakes, but nobody promises that everything will go smoothly at once.
Do not overestimate your interlocutor, underestimating yourself. If you start to redden and shiver in front of the girl or think, that she will refuse you, then it will be so (unfortunately, it is the bitter truth).
The first and most important rule is - to have pleasant and successful relations you have to love yourself! In fact it is the only way you can feel more confident, and without special work can present yourself at a high level. Love yourself with dirty hair, broken heel and a bruise under the right eye! Recall the heroine of one kind Soviet film who kept repeating to herself: "I am the most charming and attractive!" Believe in it. And this invention (as it may look from first sight) will become your reality.
Second and very important is your mood. When a person is lightened by a positive spirit, he differs a lot. Only this can make you shine, and you can present yourself without words. How much depends on the ability of a person to be positive, to say to himself: "I am the best, I am a superstar, I am already loved and will be loved!!" Going outside such person “wears” the positive image of successful and confident person. “I can do it, I’ll manage, I am the best”
And how often looking in a mirror in the morning you were upset because of what you saw, and thought, that nobody can ever love such ugly creature. And the older you become the longer you think of it, besides the traces of sleepless nights are more visible on your face. And the years themselves condense in all kinds of folds and wrinkles.
How wonderful it can be, when in the moments of inspiration people don’t even notice the disadvantages of your appearance. When they are charmed by your inner energy!
In such moments the peculiarities of your appearance don’t matter, nobody will notice a spot on your nose, because they will get only the whole impression. And your personality, the charm of your inner energy makes that incredible leap from the usual grey or even unattractive person to that bright magnetic image, like it happens to pop stars!
I would also recommend you to prepare few kind short jokes. Where the common sense can’t help – the sense of humor will come to rescue! A good joke or an interesting story can help in a difficult situation.
P.S.
As one actor once said - the attention of the audience is paid on what you pay attention. So if you’ll worry about a spot, then the person will feel it and begin to worry with you. But if you love what you are doing, then the others will easily adopt it.
Don’t put off the work on yourself. You are in this world because you’ve conquered your competitors with strength and dignity!
Believe in yourself and enjoy the reality and pleasant communication!